


The Rage of Wilson

by prettyapathetic



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-21
Updated: 2011-05-21
Packaged: 2017-10-19 16:39:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/202963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyapathetic/pseuds/prettyapathetic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wilson loses his temper and strange things occur.</p><p>AU and cracky. Contains character death, but only in a strange and humourous way. Spawned from too much wine and lack of sleep. Based on a meme I stole from mostlyscrubbed over on livejournal in which I was asked if I were to kill off my favourite character in House, how would I do it and the subsequent comment she left where she quoted House as saying "That symptom is a red herring! She's actually suffering from..." This is very very short, but not quite drabble short. Still I hope you find it all amusing and it's not just me being drunk that resulted in my own laughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rage of Wilson

Wilson had had it. He felt a roiling rage rise up inside him like nothing he'd ever felt before. It was like he was possessed with fury unknown to the mortal world.

"Did you just steal my last fry?" Wilson asked in a low and dangerous tone, his eyes black with rage as he turned towards his unsuspecting best friend.

"Uh, yeah," House said with a typical roll of his eyes, though there was a certain amount of uncertainty on his face as he took in the uncharacteristic black rage staring back at him. "It's not like this is anything new."

Wilson slowly rose from the table, the look on his face appearing, if at all possible, angrier than it had a few seconds prior. He stood over House menacingly. He simply couldn't let this bastard get away with his fry-thieving for a second longer! From out of sub-space he pulled his trusty....

"Is that a herring?" House exclaimed, unbelieving. The shock on his face was almost comical.

"Don't under-estimate the power of the herring," Wilson replied darkly as he lifted the fish over his head and started to mercilessly beat his friend about the head.

House tried to fight him off at first, laughing to himself about the sheer absurdity of being beaten with a herring, but out of nowhere one of his infamous epiphanies seemed to hit. Wilson recognized the look on the other man's face and took it as an opportunity to do his worst.

"Of course!" House shouted, suddenly not even registering the herring blows. "That symptom was just a red herring! She's actually suffering from..." And before he could finish, Wilson took one last satisfying swing with his trusty herring of the non-red variety, effectively knocking the life from his friend's body.

"That'll teach you to take my last fry. Bitch."


End file.
